Speaking de engleesh? No?

18 May 2008 - 12:13pm.

On our debate forum, we have a couple of people whose first language isn't english. One is Dutch, the other Norwegian. Their english though, is fantastic. I am so in awe of anyone who is able to speak more than one language. About the only foreign words I can remember are 'ensuite' and 'dim sim' (but is that really a foreign word, or just something the Chinese takeaway operaters use to describe dumb Australians?).

I have given up the idea of ever becoming bi-lingual. I am too old and stubborn and lazy to try to learn another language, and besides, the potential for embarrassing oneself in trying to translate into another language is enormous, judging by the following pictures of unfortunate translations.

I would hate to suffer from the disease 'horrifying highness'. It sounds really painful. Maybe they're talking about people who like to take a batch of bad LSD before they go on amusement park rides...As for liquor heads, if you suffer from them, well, I really feel for you, really, I do.

Our local very suspicious supermarket doesn't sell suspicious items. They are just suspicious of everyone who walks through the doors as would-be shop lifters - to the point of frisking you when you leave. I exaggerate a wee bit. They don't really frisk you, although I'm sure they'd be right into it if they were allowed - instead they have security cameras and post pictures of suspected shop lifters on their 'wall of shame'. They are a very suspicious supermarket indeed.

When I'm strolling through the park I always take care to make sure I fall into the water. I don't need any signs to remind me.

Experts say that plastic bag abusers were likely to have been abused plastic bags in their youth.

Cross dressing gentlemen, please use these toilets.

I really don't know what a crippie or gravid person is. I will have to look carefully next time I use the bus or the train, and decide whether someone looks like they might be crippie or gravid.